someone threw a dead crab at me
guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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