I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
I need water and some morals
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
