Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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