Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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