can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize
