dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
Can you bring me the toilet please
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Randomize
