I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
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Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
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Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
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