Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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