do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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