haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
