If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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