But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Randomize
