Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Randomize
