cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
Found your dick twin last night
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
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