3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
Randomize
