You work out of a Hotel?
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
