I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
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