that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
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