You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
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