All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
