Nicole vs. Life
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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