He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Randomize
