i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize
