I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
