I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Randomize
