He uses pillows to masturbate.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
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