O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
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There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
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I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
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