bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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