i think my mom watched the whole time
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
