whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
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