Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Randomize
