Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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