After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Randomize
