just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
