I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
