It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Randomize
