i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize
