Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
Michael Bay diarrhea
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
Randomize
