she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Randomize
