We named our party play list daddy issues
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
