I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
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