you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
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some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
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Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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