yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
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