Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
