I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
Also, beer. Big fan.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
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