this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Randomize
