Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
im having a threesome with these popsicles
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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