I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Randomize
