Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
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