You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
can u get pink eye on your cock?
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
last night I used snow as a chaser
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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