Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Randomize
