You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
