you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
