As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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