My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
is it fun? or sober?
You left your phone here
Wait...
Randomize
