4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
