I'm pants shitting drunk right now
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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