but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Randomize
