I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
Randomize