no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
