i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
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